The love/hate relationship with beauty

The Good Men Project has pulled through for the ladies once again with their recent piece: “Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Beautiful” by Marrie Lobel.

There's reason behind this amount of effort. Via

Lobel explores the many meanings of beauty and what elements in particular go into creating such ideals.

The story can be broken up into three categories:
1. Biology
2. Social Capital
3. Redefining Beauty

According to Lobel, “unless you are an enlightened individual, you are manipulated by society and biology in some way. It’s not easy to see beauty beyond the ugly, hateful, disgusting, or despicable descriptions of things we’re given by society. That takes mindfulness and compassion that eludes most of us.”

It briefly hits on what actually makes men attracted to women, from purely sexual attributes to subconsciously associating certain traits as signs of good health. There’s actual chemical reactions that occur when attraction takes place in our bodies. It’s fascinating.

Women want to be “beautiful” for a lot of different reasons. They do it for validation, to receive a sense of belonging, and yes, even to attract those they desire. What it means to be be attractive varies from culture to culture and we d0 the things we do within our own society to fit these sort of standards.

How far we’re willing to go to meet these ideals is an entirely different story.

Today women are attempting to redefine the term “beautiful.” This new wave supports self-acceptance and individuality, which can ultimately lead to the changing perception of the word for the best.

“If a woman chooses to wear make-up, heels, and designer clothes, she needs to understand why she does it. Is she a slave to a certain perception of beauty? Or is she not a slave at all, just a woman who enjoys and appreciates that form of beauty?,” Lobel asks.


3 thoughts on “The love/hate relationship with beauty

  1. I guess this all goes back to the saying of how “beauty is in the eye of the beholder.” There are so many subsets of beautiful within racial groups, albeit American culture tends to base beauty on european featured standards. I think the last quote is quite thought provoking, do we go after these items of beauty because we are chasing this ideal or have we become so wrapped up in this mess that they actually make us happy?

  2. Thank you so much for posting this piece.
    I love your comment ‘How far we’re [women] willing to go to meet these ideals..’. I think this is an important question that each women needs to ask of herself. At what point does a women’s desire to attain societies view of beauty become self-sacrificing; jeopardizing emotional well being and physical health?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s